Today, we live at a time and in a society in which haste, stress and consumerism mark our lives. Both parents work, so reconciling work and family life becomes an arduous task. How many times do we not repeat at the end of the day…I have missed hours and many times we do not act in the most correct way because we are saturated or tired.
This lack of time means that many times we cannot be with our children as much as we would like or dedicate them the attention and dedication they require and without realizing it we try to cover these gaps with material things but not only for this reason, but also because many times we feel guilty about it and we solve it in the most practical way we have at hand, giving gifts, rewarding, not saying No to anything…
We constantly reward our children, “if you behave well…” I’ll buy you a toy, if we go shopping we always leave with something, if you don’t cry, I’ll bring you back… and they end up having a room full of toys that they ignore, so they end up internalizing this kind of blackmail and as soon as you neglect them they are already asking for something in exchange for “behaving well”, if I don’t cry what will you give me? And of course, we parents, guilty and without time, end up subdued and thinking that without a gift we are not going to get it.
Due to my recent maternity, there is a phrase that I have begun to hear constantly “enjoy that passes very quickly” and how right they are. The time that you do not spend with your loved ones, will not come back, that is why in our day to day we must organize ourselves in such a way that we look for a little or a lot of time to enjoy it with them, it does not matter so much the time, as the quality of it and instead of rewarding them with material things, reward them with little moments with the parents, do the laundry together, prepare dinner, take a bath together or tell them a story quietly on the couch, no TV, no cell phones, sure they will love it and thus we will favor our emotional bonds, improve the family atmosphere, release stress and learn from each other. Not always the material prize is what they like the most, they love to do things with us, an afternoon at the movies, a fun circuit at home or a costume party with the parents is sure to be a much more appealing “blackmail” and making it a daily routine is the best prize.
In short, the benefit is mutual, the enjoyment of this relationship is something that no parent should miss. Children grow up and they grow up very fast and certain moments and experiences do not come back, you are only a child once and an adult all your life.
Bea Bañon Ortega
Educator at CEI Hormiguitas
Sources: www.luciamipediatra.es
