Self-esteem is fundamental in the development of children.
There are children who feel little self-confidence and will think it is because they are shy, although they may be more shy than extroverted, there are also external factors that determine the confidence they may have about themselves so that they are able to face the different aspects of life in a much more positive way.
Simple tips:
- Avoid calling him shy.
Talking about shyness in front of the child or telling someone else while he is listening that “he is very shy” is labeling him and making your child believe that he really is.
When a child is embarrassed to be with people he/she does not know, adults will come into play, try to bring up a topic of conversation or make him/her play, break the ice and make him/her feel better. Serve as a mediator.
- Do not make comparisons.
It is not a good idea to compare the child with his siblings or with other children who are more extroverted than he is. We do it unconsciously for sure. Nobody likes to be compared, especially when it is not a good thing. Each one must grow their own personality and learn to develop independently. Help to increase the child’s confidence and make him feel better with others.
- Accompany you on your journey
In many occasions the little ones can feel lost in any daily aspect, when they reach an achievement they feel capable and gain self-confidence we must become their best guides and teach them the right path. We can help them by giving them moments to practice and perfect their skills, allowing them to make mistakes and encouraging them to try again.
We will reward them with praise for their efforts.
- Plan things.
Children need daily routines to feel secure and independent, but also if you want to expose them to a new situation, it will be necessary to explain in detail what is going to be done and how it will be done. Facts are important for them to feel confident. For example, if you are going to a birthday party it will be important to tell them who will be there, what will happen… you need to explain everything so that they feel more confident once they get there with the party started.
- Do not exert too much pressure
Children who have parents who push them too hard or too fast end up being more shy, having more uncertainty, and feeling anxious in some social situations. Pressuring children to do things (or to do things right) will only make children more anxious because they think they will not have more opportunities. If the child insists that he/she does not want to do something because he/she is afraid or uncomfortable, you should help him/her feel safe but not forced.
- Overprotection: Excessive care and/or protection:
Overprotective parents tend to limit the child’s exploration of the world. It is necessary to leave (children) room for action so that they feel able to do things on their own and give them the opportunity for satisfaction.
Helping him to feel confident by giving him opportunities to show his acquired skills and building an affective bond so that the child knows that you will be by his side whenever he needs you, is essential. The ideal is to protect, not overprotect, and this is achieved by trusting their ability to relate to others.
Remember: Love, Discipline and Respect are the things your child needs to build self-esteem, self-confidence and foster independence.
Sandra Sánchez, tutor of C.E.I. HORMIGUITAS.
Based on articles from Etapa Infantil, Disability and psychology.
